There was a period of time while living in New York that I found myself unemployed. Some friends I knew were making money by organizing parties for local nightclubs. With nothing better to do, I began following them around and photographing their escapades.

I spent most of my days sorting through pictures, trying to piece together the blurry recollections of the previous night. My life was pretty chaotic and impulsive at the time, so working with photographs seemed like a reasonable way to get more grounded. The results do seem a bit ironic now.

I did have serious intentions of creating a photo documentary on New York nightlife, but the reality of living so deeply within it made it impossible to remain immune from its influence. Whatever new insights I gained were quickly washed away in the relentless current of nonstop revelry. For me, what began as a fun project soon became an impossible burden. Months later I quit the scene, cut all my social ties, and retreated into a life of complete solitude.

Looking back, I’m amazed at how this image captures what it felt like for me— the sense of delirium and weightlessness, suspended in a dark unknown.

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